While even I have people I look up to, that doesn’t mean I need to be just like them. The world is a much better place if you just be yourself and I’ll be myself.
You’re unique and literally no one in the world can even come close to being you. There’s something about your spirit, your drive, your personality and your gifts that no one else has. What’s yours is for you and it can never be taken because it’s no one else’s to take.
What’s in you is what will get you through anything that comes your way. Stay true to yourself and you’ll continue to be blessed. No stress, just be you.
We’re Social Creatures
It’s hard not to want to fit in. Either you really want to fit in or you work so hard not to fit in that you’re just like all those with that same mentality. Despite all of us being social beings, it’s not a matter of fitting in or not fitting in. It’s a matter of just being yourself and fitting in naturally. This Quora question really helps point out why we’re afraid of being different.
I know school is probably the start of trying to be like others. It was for me. It’s just easier to be more like your friends than trying to find your own identity. After all, if you’re different, your friends might not like you or your crush might not be into you (juvenile thinking I know).
Just remember this – if you can’t be yourself around your friends or those you love, then it’s time to find a new crowd. I found out the hard way that when you really need them, those people won’t be there for you. Only those who care about you for who you really are will be there in your darkest times.
You’ll Never Be Happy With Who You Are
When you work hard to be someone else, you’ll never be truly happy. Striving to be like another person or group means you’re not embracing what makes you you or using your unique gifts. As a result, you’ll always have to deal with challenges like:
· Never working in a job you love
· Finding someone you’re truly compatible with
· Keeping friends that support you
· Your successes won’t really be your own
· Depression and anxiety may set in
None of that sounds fun, does it? I definitely don’t think so. Instead, I want you to be happy. I want you to be a confident and unique. The world needs you. Not a duplicate of someone else.
Tackling Self-Esteem Issues
Often times, it’s not just a fear of being different, but low self-esteem that makes you want to hide who you truly are. Toxic relationships, life-changing events or just negative thoughts can all cause chronic low self-esteem. Most everybody has struggled with low self-esteem at some point, but if you want to be yourself, you have to boost your self-esteem to healthy levels by doing things like:
· Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones
· Surrounding yourself with people who love and support you
· Forgiving yourself for mistakes
· Letting go of toxic relationships
· Set goals that are just for you, not others
· Reward yourself for accomplishments
· Pick out things to love about yourself (when you start loving a few aspects, soon you love all of yourself)
Be Yourself More Often
I know it might seem hard to fully and completely just start be yourself when you’re surrounded by friends, co-workers and even a partner that’s never seen the real you. So, start slow. Set goals. For instance, maybe you really hate country music, but pretend to like it for your friends. Be honest and ask them to listen to music you like some of the time. It's perfectly fine to have different tastes too, just don't lose yourself trying to fit them.
No one else enjoy your hobbies? That’s okay. This is a chance to meet new people. Take a class or even just spend some quality alone time enjoying what you love. We all need self-care time.
Do me a favor and start taking small steps today towards being yourself. Even if it means letting go of your current partner, friends and job, be yourself. You deserve to be happy and loved for who you really are. Don’t fake it. Just be you!
Just imagine what you could do if you let yourself be free of what others think and try to make you into. That’s the Unbothered Goddess the world needs. That’s who you deserve to be!
Signed – The Unbothered Goddess, a woman who’s been where you are