Updated: Nov 11, 2019
You’ve probably heard the phrase “you have to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else.” But honestly, how do you love on yourself? Isn’t that for someone else to do?
Yes and no. It’s amazing to be loved by someone else and feel that love in all those small things they do to make you happy. You know, like the hubby taking out the trash or washing dishes when you had a long day.
If you want to be healthier, happier and more confident than ever before, it’s time to learn not just how to love yourself, but how to love on yourself.
Put Yourself First Sometimes
How often do you put your friends, family, spouse, kids and even co-workers first? I know I do it all the time. However, one day I decided that I needed some of that love I was giving out. Wasn’t I just as important? I want you to listen (okay, so read) to this next part carefully and remember it well.
Put yourself first sometimes. Sound simple? It’s actually much simpler than you might think. Yes, I struggled a little bit at first, but now, it’s just as easy as showing love to those who are most important to me.
The first step to learning to love on yourself is to set aside time to make it all about you. Even a few minutes can change the way you feel and even see yourself.
Science Says Self-Love Is A Must
So you might be thinking this is just some crazy lady sharing her opinions. Nope. I’m an Unbothered Goddess sharing not only my experience, but scientifically backed ways to help you feel better and happier. Think of me as that trusted friend who has really mastered the art of Googling.
Science says taking some time to love on yourself helps boost your own self-compassion. Instead of being so hard on yourself or even being beaten down by others’ criticisms, you’re more compassionate to yourself. As a result, you become stronger, more productive and less stressed.
Get The Support You Need
Have you ever just wished someone would give you exactly what you needed? I think we all have. However, even when others love us, they’re not mind readers. Imagine how bad that would turn out when you need to have a mini-rant about them in your head when you’re mad.
When you love on yourself, you show yourself the appreciation you need in the way you need it most. According to Psychology Today, those appreciative actions support your “physical, psychological and spiritual growth.”
Learn To Love On Yourself
At first, I didn’t fully understand what people meant by self-love or to love on yourself. I couldn’t just magically look in the mirror and say “I love you.” Actually, I can and I have. It’s nice to hear those three little words when I’m feeling down, even if no one else is around to say them.
Personally, I don’t think there is any one way to love on yourself. This is one of those highly personal things, but some great ideas to get you started include:
· Watching your favorite show just because you want to
· Rewarding yourself with your favorite snack
· Taking a relaxing bath and shutting out the world
· Investing in your health (i.e. doing fun exercises or trying healthier foods that actually taste good)
· Lighting some candles and meditating
· Taking a nap when you need it
You don’t have to do anything extreme. Think of the small things that make you happy. Maybe it’s sitting on your porch or deck and enjoying the views or getting lost in a good book. Any time you put yourself first and do something specifically for you, you’re showing yourself love. The more you do this, the more you learn to not only love on yourself, but fully love yourself.
Before you do anything for anyone, do yourself a favor and love on yourself. Show yourself some love however you feel you want to. Light some candles and get in the bath, go get a massage, get lunch by yourself or go see that movie you’ve been waiting for. Grab your favorite snack and put your feet up if you want to. I love on myself by grabbing my favorite snack and putting my feet up with my favorite show or playlist. How do you love on yourself? Let's talk about it.
Signed – The Unbothered Goddess, a woman who’s been where you are