Updated: Nov 11, 2019
How much do you worry about every single day? Go ahead, think about it, I’ll wait. At any point, did you cross your own mind?
I get it. I used to worry about everything but myself. It’s also something I regret. After all, if I’m not paying attention to my own needs, how in the entire world am I going to be there for everyone else in my life?
It took me a while to realize this, but on my journey to be an Unbothered Goddess, I realized that it’s okay to worry about yourself. It’s not selfish. It’s just mandatory self-care every woman needs.
You’ve Already Heard About It
I know I’m not the first person to tell you to worry about yourself. There’s so much to this one simple phrase. Maybe you’ve said to someone you care about or had someone say it to you. Perhaps you’ve just thought it to yourself and dismissed it. Whatever your experience with the phrase “worry about yourself” might be, I want to hear about.
Share your experiences with me and other unbothered goddesses in the comments or in the Unbothered Goddess Community group on facebook. It’s a safe, supportive community we’re all building together. If you don’t discuss it with me, talk to your best friend, spouse, parent, sibling or even adult child. When you start exploring what the phrase means to you, you’re far more likely to actually do it.
Start Taking Better Care Of Yourself
Usually, you’re told to stop worrying. It’s bad for you. Yes, I agree – to a point. Chronic worrying isn’t great for your health, physically or mentally. However, ignoring your own needs is even worse for you.
Don’t believe me? Take this for example. During a dark time in my life, I could’ve just let grief take over completely. Instead, I began to listen to what I needed. I began to worry about my own needs. When I did, I was able to figure out what I needed to rise above my grief and start my life over again.
Worry about yourself means you need to take better care of yourself. For me, it’s one of those ultimate self-care phrases that way too many women ignore. We’re told it’s selfish to put ourselves first. Well, I have some very unlady-like things to say about that.
The lesson – it’s not selfish. It’s smart. It’s just as important as getting enough exercise or eating your vegetables.
Science Says It’s Important
I never knew there was such a thing as a worry researcher, but in my search to uncover why worrying about yourself is so effective, I found Kate Sweeny, a psychology professor and worry researcher at the University of California. According to Sweeny, worrying is a highly effective way to prepare yourself emotionally for bad situations and encourages you to take better overall care of yourself.
For instance, Sweeny says when you worry about the sun’s harmful rays, you’re more likely to stop and use sunscreen. Something that simple can make a major difference in your life now and in the future.
Of course, I don’t want to you to worry constantly. Instead, worry about yourself to the point that you actually feel better. Worried that you’re stressing out too much? This is a sign you need some major stress relief. Even shutting the bathroom door and taking a long relaxing bath is a great start to feeling better.
Feel like worry is taking over? You’re not alone. I’ve been there, especially as I learned how to worry about myself the right way. This is where a worry journal can help. Write down what’s bothering you. You might just find trends and uncover better ways to take care of yourself and avoid the stressors that cause your worries.
Stop Keeping It All Bottled Up
Okay, so it’s not just about self-care. When I say worry about yourself, I want you to stop keeping everything all bottled up. Do you have that one friend who just drives you nuts or always tries to take advantage of you? First of all, if it feels like a toxic relationship, kick them out of your life.
In my experience, it feels great to just tell people off sometimes. Stop trying to be nice while someone else ruins your happiness. Put yourself first and worry about yourself. You don’t have to feel bad just to make everyone else happy. They’re not worrying about you, so you need to worry about yourself instead.
Now, it’s your turn to worry about yourself. Trust me, you’ll love how you feel when you start putting your needs first and getting closer to being the Unbothered Goddess you deserve to be.
Signed – The Unbothered Goddess, a woman who’s been where you are