Updated: Nov 11, 2019
So, you’re busy scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and comparing yourself to everyone’s supposedly perfect lives, aren’t you?
I see you comparing yourself to other people and I just popped in to say stop it! Your journey is yours and you cannot be your best if you’re worried about what someone else is doing. Your path may take you off to the right where others’ paths take them left.
The only person you need to do better than is yourself from the previous day, hour and minute. Focus on outdoing the previous you.
Comparing Is Part Of Human Nature
Okay, so I’m not saying you should never compare yourself to others, but other people shouldn’t be competition. Your only competition is you, not your friends, family or strangers you run across online.
According to the social comparison theory, we all compare ourselves to others to evaluate where we are in life. That by itself is healthy.
When you start feeling negatively about yourself and see everyone as the competition, it’s time to stop with the comparisons. I like to think of it as the difference between being inspired by someone and trying to be the perfect version of that someone. Inspiration is great. It helps us become amazing people. But, trying to become someone you’re not, never works for anyone.
Seeing everyone as the competition leads to self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. Seriously, just look at the insanity that comes from people watching reality TV shows and trying to be just like the “stars.”
You Don’t Know The Whole Story
Sure, everyone’s lives may look better, but you don’t know the whole story. Maybe your friend has a perfectly clean home 24/7 with her five kids. That’s great, but does she have any time for herself? Her clean home looks great, but all that stress may be leaving her with terrible headaches or no time to actually spend with her family, outside of a few quick selfies.
The truth is, you don’t really know what you’re comparing your life to. I know it’s easy to get caught up in what others have, especially if you want something similar. Instead of comparing, write your own story to inspire others.
You Don’t Leave Time For You
When your only competition is you, you get to focus on your own needs and development. You get to walk your own path and enjoy your own journey. Competing against others might give you that fun high for a little bit, but in the end, you end up miserable and have no time for yourself.
The bad part – those you’re competing against may not even realize it. Honestly, do you really want to waste your time competing against someone for no reason?
It’s okay. I’ve been there and done that when I was younger. When I realized how tired and stressed I was versus feeling accomplished, I nixed that competition (that I may add others weren't even aware of) and spent some quality time with my favorite hobbies instead.
You Could Lose Friends
I’m lucky that no one realized I was competing with them back then. Why? I could’ve lost friends if they thought I envied them. Sadly, it’s something that happens all too often when you’re busy comparing yourself to others. You get angry and jealous and maybe even say things you don’t mean.
Instead of being best friends, you turn into viscous rivals. It’s fine if your friend just got a better job than you. Cheer them on. They're going to be there to celebrate your successes too. Don’t let a not-so-friendly competition destroy your friendships and other relationships.
Compete Against Yourself
Want to do better and be better? Then your only competition is you. That’s it. There’s no one else you need to compete against or compare yourself too. While I want us all to be unbothered, every person's journey is different. The best way to become the you that you want to be is to set your own personal goals.
Compete against what you did yesterday or last week. Do just a little bit more or a little bit better. Believe me, when you’re busy competing against yourself, you don’t have anytime to compete against others. Plus, you’ll be truly amazed at what you can achieve! Go ahead and start competing against yourself and become who you are truly meant to be!
Signed – The Unbothered Goddess, a woman who’s been where you are